As I plead “what do you want from me?” to my simultaneously wailing children this morning, it strikes me that this mission to ZEN may be a comedy exercise in futility.
Hopefully not every day will begin with jammy fingers in my freshly (and rarely) washed hair, baby wee on my clean top and a 2 year old who's having a "world-is-over" tantrum because I won't let him put his hands in the toilet.
It's day 26, I'm 7% into my year of daily meditation. So, all is not yet lost, still 93% to go. ZEN is achievable. Surely.
...and breathe...
Clearly (based on the above) I'd be lying if I said that these last 4 weeks have transformed me into a ZEN-like individual on a day to day basis. The same daily stresses and trigger points are still there and they still stress and trigger me! I have not stopped feeling busy and frequently exasperated. I still run around manically doing a million things at once. However.....I have noticed a couple of subtle shifts.
Firstly, having just 15 minutes of total calm each day gives me a little bit more mental fuel to get through the day. It takes a bit more to get me to the "edge" or to call "right! time out!" on a precocious toddler. A bit like a really good night's sleep can give you that extra bit of juice to deal with whatever gets thrown at you. A bit like choosing to sit down to drink your morning coffee vs skulling it on the go, I find it gives me a bit of space to collect myself, relax & give more to my day.
Secondly, I have been pausing and thinking a little bit more before I rush from one thing to another. A moment to enjoy the view, pat a dog, watch the world go by. As a (self-perpetuating) busy person with a busy mind, I often do and say things on the go go go without stopping and without thinking. I am noticing a bit of space between my thoughts and actions now. I don't know if that's poignant but it certainly feels like I have some calming control and that is incredibly rewarding.
Headspace is a brilliant programme, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's modern, relevant to my life and non spiritual which really suits me. Having it as an app means I can do it anywhere – the day's slot is ready to go as soon as you click into it. I mostly sit on the sofa or out on the balcony. I sat on a park bench last week with earphones and sunnies on - nobody would've known the difference. I did park in a shady spot in the car to do my 15 minutes the other day – the only way to be sure the sleeping baby would stay asleep and I'd find the time. There is no focus on "getting to a clear mind" or achieving anything. It really is just 15 minutes of down-time and without fail, I open my eyes feeling good. Positive. Relaxed. Focused.
As I tell people about this meditation challenge, I get a real mixture of reactions. I must say that silence has been the most common so far! I think some people find it difficult to grasp the intent or the need to meditate. Certainly those people who are naturally relaxed and of a mellow disposition may not relate to it. Many people find meditation in exercise, gardening......even the washing up. For me, with very little spare time and a seriously "always on" mind, I'm finding it totally practical and with massive potential to make a difference to me.
339 days to go. Bring it on!
Hopefully not every day will begin with jammy fingers in my freshly (and rarely) washed hair, baby wee on my clean top and a 2 year old who's having a "world-is-over" tantrum because I won't let him put his hands in the toilet.
It's day 26, I'm 7% into my year of daily meditation. So, all is not yet lost, still 93% to go. ZEN is achievable. Surely.
...and breathe...
Clearly (based on the above) I'd be lying if I said that these last 4 weeks have transformed me into a ZEN-like individual on a day to day basis. The same daily stresses and trigger points are still there and they still stress and trigger me! I have not stopped feeling busy and frequently exasperated. I still run around manically doing a million things at once. However.....I have noticed a couple of subtle shifts.
Firstly, having just 15 minutes of total calm each day gives me a little bit more mental fuel to get through the day. It takes a bit more to get me to the "edge" or to call "right! time out!" on a precocious toddler. A bit like a really good night's sleep can give you that extra bit of juice to deal with whatever gets thrown at you. A bit like choosing to sit down to drink your morning coffee vs skulling it on the go, I find it gives me a bit of space to collect myself, relax & give more to my day.
Secondly, I have been pausing and thinking a little bit more before I rush from one thing to another. A moment to enjoy the view, pat a dog, watch the world go by. As a (self-perpetuating) busy person with a busy mind, I often do and say things on the go go go without stopping and without thinking. I am noticing a bit of space between my thoughts and actions now. I don't know if that's poignant but it certainly feels like I have some calming control and that is incredibly rewarding.
Headspace is a brilliant programme, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's modern, relevant to my life and non spiritual which really suits me. Having it as an app means I can do it anywhere – the day's slot is ready to go as soon as you click into it. I mostly sit on the sofa or out on the balcony. I sat on a park bench last week with earphones and sunnies on - nobody would've known the difference. I did park in a shady spot in the car to do my 15 minutes the other day – the only way to be sure the sleeping baby would stay asleep and I'd find the time. There is no focus on "getting to a clear mind" or achieving anything. It really is just 15 minutes of down-time and without fail, I open my eyes feeling good. Positive. Relaxed. Focused.
As I tell people about this meditation challenge, I get a real mixture of reactions. I must say that silence has been the most common so far! I think some people find it difficult to grasp the intent or the need to meditate. Certainly those people who are naturally relaxed and of a mellow disposition may not relate to it. Many people find meditation in exercise, gardening......even the washing up. For me, with very little spare time and a seriously "always on" mind, I'm finding it totally practical and with massive potential to make a difference to me.
339 days to go. Bring it on!