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So, things have been a bit quiet on the old blog front lately, The internal machinations of my addled brain have consumed me for weeks now. I've had a lot to think about.
I began make me ZEN as a challenge for myself – keen to bring about some change in my life. I hoped that some daily mindfulness meditation and self-enforced focus on health would help me in two key areas.
After 17 years, this decision could turn out to be the best or the worst of my life. So, I'm taking a deep breath, furiously mentally regurgitating all those inspirational-life-goal-posters I've seen on Pinterest (see a mere selection below!) and I've done it..........had the conversation, typed the email and signed the letter............farewell desk, colleagues, flashy team off-sites, stab-myself-in-the-eye-3-hour meetings, petty high school office politics, midnight-finished-as-yet-unread-by-the-boss-reports, fun daily banter with friends, lovely reliable salary, super contributions, 3pm chocolate gorging with desk-fellows, structure, certainty..........farewell corporate job.
I'm leaving on the jet plane of dreams and possibility, flexibility and family life. Am I mad? Only time will tell.
This has been a long time in the making............dreams of a life beyond the soulless corporate world, a general malaise with my job; the juggle of life with two small kids, the impact of the relentless daily grind on my quality of life, relationship, health and sanity. I know many a good woman who seems to have and do it all but hands up, I really struggled - and I'd never expected to.
So there have been a lot of late night discussions in our household over the last few months. Jones and I have both come to the conclusion that nobody was benefitting from us both working full time and pushing ourselves to the limit.....at least not when we looked through the meaning-of-life lens. Of course two incomes will get us closer to the house we want, the holidays we enjoy, the dinners & the indulgences but it is all pretty meaningless if we're burnt out, mentally climbing the walls and grinding our teeth at night.
So, time to tighten the purse strings, breathe a sigh of relief and start spending more time at home with the munchkins. Eeeeekkkk - how long will I last I wonder? Eventually, I really hope to find the dream - do something I love, work flexibly: when and from where I want, earn decent money and have time for myself and family. That's the hope - it may take me 10 years to find the middle ground but this, I know, is a start in the right direction. The truth is, we don't know how it's going to play out, how I'm going to feel about leaving full time work or what challenges or opportunities are going to come our way...but there really is only one way to find out.
I began make me ZEN as a challenge for myself – keen to bring about some change in my life. I hoped that some daily mindfulness meditation and self-enforced focus on health would help me in two key areas.
- find some practical daily stress relief
- to try and find thinking space for some big life decisions playing on my mind
After 17 years, this decision could turn out to be the best or the worst of my life. So, I'm taking a deep breath, furiously mentally regurgitating all those inspirational-life-goal-posters I've seen on Pinterest (see a mere selection below!) and I've done it..........had the conversation, typed the email and signed the letter............farewell desk, colleagues, flashy team off-sites, stab-myself-in-the-eye-3-hour meetings, petty high school office politics, midnight-finished-as-yet-unread-by-the-boss-reports, fun daily banter with friends, lovely reliable salary, super contributions, 3pm chocolate gorging with desk-fellows, structure, certainty..........farewell corporate job.
I'm leaving on the jet plane of dreams and possibility, flexibility and family life. Am I mad? Only time will tell.
This has been a long time in the making............dreams of a life beyond the soulless corporate world, a general malaise with my job; the juggle of life with two small kids, the impact of the relentless daily grind on my quality of life, relationship, health and sanity. I know many a good woman who seems to have and do it all but hands up, I really struggled - and I'd never expected to.
So there have been a lot of late night discussions in our household over the last few months. Jones and I have both come to the conclusion that nobody was benefitting from us both working full time and pushing ourselves to the limit.....at least not when we looked through the meaning-of-life lens. Of course two incomes will get us closer to the house we want, the holidays we enjoy, the dinners & the indulgences but it is all pretty meaningless if we're burnt out, mentally climbing the walls and grinding our teeth at night.
So, time to tighten the purse strings, breathe a sigh of relief and start spending more time at home with the munchkins. Eeeeekkkk - how long will I last I wonder? Eventually, I really hope to find the dream - do something I love, work flexibly: when and from where I want, earn decent money and have time for myself and family. That's the hope - it may take me 10 years to find the middle ground but this, I know, is a start in the right direction. The truth is, we don't know how it's going to play out, how I'm going to feel about leaving full time work or what challenges or opportunities are going to come our way...but there really is only one way to find out.
Finally............controversial alert.............I don't believe I would have taken such a life-leap if I hadn't started this mindfulness meditation lark. I've had conflicting ideas, priorities, fears, hopes, dreams racing around in my busy mind for a long time. Through either a lack of nerve or a lot of self-doubt, I have not followed through on any of my ideas or dreams and have gone back to the well-worn, reliable and secure path of a fat job and fat stress.
Somehow though, over the weeks that I've been doing the old Headspace, what were once scattered & racing feelings & thoughts have crystallised and I'm left with clarity about what I want and even better, the confidence to pursue it. Feels great.
Somehow though, over the weeks that I've been doing the old Headspace, what were once scattered & racing feelings & thoughts have crystallised and I'm left with clarity about what I want and even better, the confidence to pursue it. Feels great.